Inside and Out: Toys for the Male Body pt. 1 - Cock Rings

Cock Rings/C-Rings

Brands: PerfectFit, Optimale, Spartacus, Screaming O, Lovehoney, Bondage Boutique, Skins, Pasante, 50 Shades of Grey, Dr. Joel, Dominix, Durex, Doc Johnson, Marc Dorcel, and more.

Recently, I've taken a liking to cock rings after doing more research for this post. Previously, I had little interest because it just didn't seem like something I would enjoy, especially for one who doesn't have a penis. However, I've found out really neat things about their uses and materials. But first, how would one even use a cock ring?
 

I've heard this done using a couple methods. You could put the cock ring on when the penis is semi-hard to hard, or when it's soft. Either way, you'll want to use lube.

Apply water-based lube to the inside of the cock ring. If it's a basic cock ring, slide it down to the base of the shaft. This will allow blood to pool up when the penis becomes erect, allowing for a thicker erection and, in some people, a longer orgasm. If it's too tight when you use it, please take it off immediately. Some rings go just directly under the head of the penis, so make sure you're using the right one.

The materials of a cock ring range from silicone to metal, sometimes even adjustable leather straps. Some have bullet vibes attached for extra pleasure! It's all depending on what you and your partner(s) are looking for.

Vibrating cock rings are usually made of stretchy materials, like PVC, rubber, or some types of silicone. Just an FYI, Silagel/sil-a-gel is a Doc Johnson-made material.

Adjustable cock rings are great for those who are new to this. They are also called cock ties and lassos. They allow you and your partner(s) to play around with how tight you want it and what fits best. They're also great for those with larger penis girths, as not all rings are as adjustable.


Similar: Cock & ball rings/double cock rings. These types of rings must go on when the penis is limp! Lube the inside of the ring first, then slide the testicles in, one by one. Next, slide the penis through and adjust as necessary. Voila! While you can find these in stretchy jelly materials, most of what I've seen are made from firmer materials such as silicone and metal.

If you want to increase your stamina, I'd suggest going with regular, non-vibrating ones.

If you're unsure how to find the right cock ring for you, here's a wonderful guide on how to measure your penis for one! Thanks, Lovehoney!
http://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/male-sex-toys/buyers-guide/how-to-measure-for-a-cock-ring/
 

Cock cages/chastity cages
Used as added excitement for some males, chastity cages and cock cages are meant to suppress an erection and decrease the chances for masturbation. In most cases, this is used as bondage in BDSM practices. Some guys will need to wear them for days until they're allowed to remove them. Though I've never actually heard of this happening, I wouldn't be surprised if these cages were also used by religion men to resist temptation from sexual urges.

Asexual Awareness!

Sexual freedom for everyone is what asexuals really want to promote too. Freedom includes the freedom to have none. "Asexuality and LGBT: The Case for Inclusion" Emma Absolon & Michael Doré

While I'm behind schedule for Asexuality Awareness Week, I was reminded that there's always time to raise awareness. That gives me lots of hope.

I'll start by saying that I do not identify as asexual, but rather a bisexual ally. The information I have gathered is from friends, websites, and testimonies. If there's anything I have left out, please message me with the correction and I'll make the changes. I want to be as supportive as I can.

Let's begin, shall we?

Asexuality: The lack of sexual attraction to any one person. Someone who identifies as asexual doesn't experience sexual attraction.
Celibacy: The abstention from sexual relations, often for religious purposes.
Demisexual: Someone who can't feel sexual attraction toward another person without a deep connection being made first.
Grey-sexuality/Grey-asexuality: A sexuality in which a person may not normally feel sexual attraction, but does experience it occasionally. They also may have a low sex drive and may enjoy sex under certain circumstances.
Aromantic: Someone who is not romantically attracted to anyone.
Homoromantic: Someone romantically attracted to the same gender.
Heteroromantic: Someone romantically attracted to the opposite gender.
Panromantic: Someone romantically attracted to another person regardless of their gender.
Biromantic: Someone romantically attracted to both genders.

"Within that, there are asexual people who have different relationships to sex. Some asexual people aren't interested in sex at all. Some experience sexual desire or a high libido but no actual attraction to specific people. Some asexual people choose to not have sex. Some choose to have sex to please partners. Some really enjoy sex. Some don't really care one way or the other."
- Anonymous

It's common that people believe asexual folks simply lack a libido or actually just celibate. Both of these theories are incorrect because it implies that a choice in involved or that there's something wrong with them. Celibacy is a choice to abstain from sex, so it's not the same as being born asexual. Based on their romantic orientation, asexual people may also identify as gay, bisexual, lesbian, etc.

People have questioned how people who are asexual can still be in a relationship and have sex. This is because, as a hyper-sexualized culture, we're not used to this idea. But despite the fact that most romantic relationships also involve sex, there is a big difference between how we feel about someone and what we do with them. For example, I may have a huge crush on someone I work with and feel strongly about them, but I'm not going to do them on my desk...for multiple reasons.

Some people may think that because asexual folks don't have sexual attraction that they're tricking other people into an less-than-fulfilling relationships, but that's not true. This is why I have stressed communication in my other posts. In some cases, the asexual partner will come out after the relationship starts while others aren't sure and may still question their asexuality during the relationship.

Many asexual folks end up with people who are not asexual because there's a lack of awareness or support groups for them to turn to, hence making the awareness of their sexuality virtually non-existent. According to research done in 2011, approximately 1% of the population identifies as asexual. This may have changed as awareness rises, but I don't think it has changed by much.

Much like their LGBTQ friends/allies, asexual people are prone to suffering from depression. They sometimes grow up feeling isolated and scared, being unsure of themselves and their sexuality, and feeling like they have to hide who they really are. In addition, asexual people sometimes live in shame and embarrassment because there aren't a lot of well-known support groups. Because of the lack of awareness and acceptance, many asexual folks have been bullied and subjected to threats similar to those against the rest of the LGBTQ population. This can be done by both unsuspecting family members and those actually looking to do damage.

Sometimes asexual people are just assumed to be straight and treated as such, being told that they just "haven't found the right person". Complete douche-canoes will often say things like:

• they need to be cured/fixed
• they're sick/broken
• they're unnatural
• they're incapable of love/intimacy
• their relationships aren't real
• they hate the opposite sex
• they suffer from trauma
• they're not old enough
• it's a result of abuse/hormone imbalance
• they're not attractive enough

...and many more awful things.

As you may have noticed, some queer people have also heard these things as well. This is why most asexual people have an interest in what happens within/to the LGBTQ community. They look out for
one another because they've dealt with the same discrimination.

How to be a good ally!
Often, asexual people struggle with sexual imperative, the assumption that everyone needs to have a sexual relationship to be happy. Challenging these theories is a good way to be a good ally. Not everyone needs a sexual relationship to continue living and thriving! There are plenty of ways to celebrate non-intimate friendships and celebrating sexual intimacy.



You can also write blog posts like this one, present as much information as you can to those who don't know what asexuality is, and learning more by yourself! Ask someone who is asexual, and who is willing to talk about it, what their experiences have been like. Celebrate asexuality awareness week!

"I spent a large chunk of my adolescence and my college years thinking that I was experiencing sexual attraction, but then the more I read about people experiencing attraction, the more I realized I wasn't on the same page. I am still more grossed out by sex than interested in it, which is something a lot of young people experience. For ages, I thought there was something wrong with me, or something wrong with my friends, because sex didn't gross them out anymore but I was still feeling stuck in that 'ewww' phase."
- Anonymous

Let's go over it one more time!
Asexuality is not...
- Fear of intimacy
- Celibacy
- A type of sexual dysfunction
- Lack of libido
- The inability to find a partner
- A mental illness
- A choice


In short, asexual people are our friends and allies. They're people, not amoebas. They deserve respect and love. Young asexual adults need to know that they're not alone and they're not freaks. We need to raise awareness around asexuality and how to best support our asexual friends.


Some references and information found at AVEN
http://www.asexuality.org/home/

Asexual Awareness Week
http://asexualawarenessweek.com/

Asexuality Archive
http://www.asexualityarchive.com/about/

Also, I'd like to personally thank my asexual friends for providing additional testimonies and knowledge. :) You're the best!

Slippery Nipples - Lubrication for Everyone! Pt. 1

Contrary to popular belief, lubricants aren't only needed for butt-sex. I honestly hope that's not popular belief.

Nope, lubes are for anything you'd want to use them for! Some have stimulants, delaying properties, contain aloe, etc. There are too many to even consider when looking for one! That's why I have listed almost 50 lubricants out for you, including some reviews and information. 

While browsing, there are some terms and words you will see often that may need explaining:

Parabens

Parabens are a type of preservative found in food, cosmetics, and deodorants, and personal lubricants. They primarily prevent bacteria growth and approximately 85% of cosmetics contain a type of paraben. However, because they have been linked to breast cancer, they have been deemed dangerous. But there isn't enough evidence out there to prove that all parabens are indeed dangerous, so there isn't a final say. My opinion: it's totally up to you, but I'd probably steer clear of them, especially if your family has a history of cancer. Instead, try organic, oil-based products and products labeled "paraben-free". 

pH levels
These levels indicate how much or how little acidity is in the vagina. Balancing that acidity means there's enough good bacteria in the vagina to keep everything healthy. But when there isn't enough acidity in the vagina, bad bacteria can crop up and become a problem. Things such as sex, menstruation, and douching alter the balance of pH levels.

If I have missed anything, it will be added in part two. Enjoy!

Sliquid
$13.00-$34.99
Water-based, water/silicone hybrid

All products are free of DEA, glycerol, parabens, PEG, gluten, propylene glycol, sorbital, and sulphates. Most of these lubes are water-based or a hybrid of water/silicone, though there are at least two silicone-based lubes available. Because they're super environmentally conscious, none of their products have been tested on animals. Perfect for sensitive skin!

n addition, some of the testimonials on their website mention how wonderful some of their representatives are! To me, that's always a plus because I like to be sure the folks who make what I'm using aren't douche canoes. Some Amazon reviews include "My ladybits thank Sliquid", "It was recommended by OB/GYN and it's cooling and more lubricating than any product I have purchased at the store." and "Since using sliquid, my husband and I have had no problems whatsoever". However, some folks say that this is too tacky, dries too quickly, or becomes sticky.

Yes
$6.99-$53.99
Oil-based, water-based

The first thing I noticed about Yes was their beautifully designed website layout. Everything was easy for me to find and gave me the right information without me having to search intensely. Okay, back to the lube. 

There are two kinds of lube: Water-based and oil-based. The water-based option is a dynamic duo of lube and vaginal moisturizer. It's also pH balanced and condom compatible. According to most consumers, it is intensely realistic and smooth. The oil-based lubricant works as an alternative to silicone or vaseline lubes and contains plant-based oils and butters, but is not condom compatible.

https://www.yesyesyes.org/why-yes/how-does-yes-compare/
https://www.yesyesyes.org/products/water-based-organic-lubricant/

Firefly
$19.00
Oil-based
This lube is oil-based and can not be used with latex condoms. However, it's safe to use with most toys and will not become sticky or leave stains. It is also glyercin, paraben, and petroleum free. Made with cocoa butter, shea butter, and aloe vera, which soothes any burning from intense sexy times!

OrganicGlide
Price not found
Oil-based
This lube is doctor recommended particularly for vaginal dryness. It's long-lasting and made with probiotics. It's also residue free and toy friendly. Because of the oil base, it can't be used with latex condoms. Paraben, glycerin, and petroleum free.

FlowMotion$25.40 NZD (Approx. $40.34 USD)

Oil-based

GMO-free using non-artificial extracts and plants, this lube is made in New Zealand. It doesn't stick, stain, and is toy/condom friendly. Customers mention that it dries too quickly, but works perfectly otherwise. Slippery and silky without harsh chemicals!

Bonk Lube$23.99 NZD  (Approx. $38.10 USD)
Oil-based, water-based
Certified organic with a fantastic name, Bonk is made in New Zealand and has great reviews!
According to most happy customers, you don't need much for this lube to be super effective (like Pokemon!) and doesn't leave any residue.
http://www.bonklube.com/bonk-story/why-bonk-is-best/

Replens
$8.00-$9.00
Silicone-based

Replens lasts longer than water based lubricants and is preservative-free!

Compatible with most condoms and doesn't irritate skin.

Relieves vaginal dryness

Some customers mentioned the bottle design is not ideal, as it is prone to leakage.

Femystique
$4.00-$8.00
Water-based

This lube is designed to increase sensitivity in female-bodied individuals for more awesome sexy times and renewed feelings of desire. Made with aloe and other extracts. The version for male-bodied individuals includes a climax delay gel for them to last longer. However, reviews state that it can be messy, doesn't last long, and has a mild burning sensation. I recommend asking your primary care physician about this product before using it.

Lifestyles
$8.00-$9.00
Water-based, silicone-based
Lifestyles is a clear and hypoallergenic lubricant that is smooth and free of smells. It works with latex condoms, doesn't stain, and is made with natural ingredients. It is also spermicide free, and pH balanced. 

Warm Lovin': Long-lasting, condom compatible with a warm feeling. However, most reviews mention that it does not feel very warm, making it virtually useless if you're looking to heat things up.

One: Oasis
$12.99-$13.99
One: Move
$8.99-$19.99
Water-based, silicone-based
Compatible with all kinds of condoms, the One brand has been known for its colorful packaging and reliability. This lube is oil-free, non-sticky, and it won't stain your fabrics. Customer reviews mention that it can become sticky and the bottle design is problematic, but otherwise had positive experiences with how slick it was. Some mentioned that they use it for massage oil and it works perfectly.

Private RX

Approximately

$20.00

Water-based

Another product that prevents vaginal dryness by stimulating the vagina to produce its own natural lubrication. Created by a gynecologist, it's hypoallergenic and clinically proven to work without stickiness, greasiness, fragrances, or added hormones.

Wonderland

$30.00

Water-based

This lube, made by the folks at Doc Johnson, is convenient and able to be used on sensitive skin. It's paraben-free and glycerin-free. It's also made in the US, for those who like to keep things as local as they can.

Emerita
$11.00
Water-based

Paraben-free and compact, this lube is especially great to prevent vaginal dryness. It's also free of mineral oil and affordable! 

Coconu$25.00

Water-based, oil-based

I'm a sucker for everything coconut. Naturally, when I saw this lube, I got excited. It's hypoallergenic, edible, and works with polyurethane condoms. However, it does not works with latex condoms! It does not contain GMOs, alcohol, petroleum, parabens, gluten, fragrances, phylates, or dyes and uses all natural ingredients. http://www.tiffanyreviews.com/2014/05/11/coconu-review/

Sex Butter

$43.00

Base unknown

Edible, minty, and stimulating, Sex Butter has wonderful customer reviews. Due to the minty freshness, it has a tingling sensation when applied to genitals and the mouth. Hormone-free, paraben-free, synthetic-free and natural. For women who have experienced cancer, it is said to boost their sexual desire and make foreplay more enjoyable.

Though it may be amazing, it comes in a small container and is on Amazon.

Isabel Fay

$16.00

Water-based

Designed for sensitive skin, made in the US, and comes in a discreet bottle. Doesn't contain parabens or glycerin and can be used with all toys and condoms. Customers love it because it's not sticky or smelly!

Penchant Premium

$25.00

Silicone-based

This lube is clear, contains no parabens and isn't sticky or gross. In addition, it is long-lasting, comes in discreet bottle, is made in the US, and does not contain spermicide.  

Honey Girl Organics

$19.00

Water-based

Looking kind of like butter or cream, this personal lube is made entirely of natural ingredients and doesn't contain GMOs, silicone, hormones, petroleum, parabens, or fragrances.

Divine 9$23.00

Water-based

Great for sensitive skin and leaves skin smooth and clean! It's also an HPV (human papillomavirus) inhibitor, meaning it decreases the rate any symptoms.

The website reviews were not so helpful, but the Amazon reviews were. Contains saccharine and glycerin.

Flavored Tampons: A Rant with My Partner & Different Tampon Creations (NSFW)

On the car ride home, my partner and I started talking about tampons. It began with our mutual dislike of the Minions franchise (sorry, friends). We agree that the merchandise for Minions can be ridiculous, including the recent Twinkies wrapper...

That's right. Get a good look at that. 

We continued on the discussion of merchandising and movies until he said "What next? Flavored tampons?!". I lost my shit.

What he meant: scented tampons and themed tampons. Out of the ordinary menstrual aids. But what he said made me rage like the Hulk. 

"What the actual fuck are you even talking about?! Flavored tampons?! What would you even do with those?! You never, ever eat a tampon!" I yelled, breaking into tiny fits of laughter. "The sugar needed for the 'flavor' would cause yeast infections. That's not my main concern. Who in the world would even put that in their mouth?"

Well, I'm sure a few people would actually do that. But that's a kink that I'm not quite ready for...

In other news, here are some pictures of strange tampon products. 

Okay, I actually think these are cool...

Whoa, I'm back!

Hello, friends! Let me give you an update since I've been away for almost, uhh..4 months.

I had started a local chapter of AmeriCorps, as I might have mentioned within some of my posts here. It took almost a year to finish since I had started a month late, but I made it through and graduated! I was a roller-coaster of emotions. I would get so stressed that I'd become sick, then I'd be okay a few hours later. Working with this organization was alright, but I got in trouble or talked to for minor things sometimes. However, getting to work with little ones on lots of cool things was a great time because I love kids.

Toward the end of my AmeriCorps career, I was offered a position at the organization basically doing the same thing, but with better pay. However, I had already taken a position working for a friend as a paraprofessional for her son. Full time, hands-on work with a special needs kid. I accepted the position, unsure of my plans after AmeriCorps. Today is my last day with him and we're watching "Finding Nemo". The organization really wanted me to stay and told me it would only be part-time, so I accepted it. It was more than I could handle, but I needed the money.

I also have a YouTube channel for gaming, and I will be starting one for this blog soon!

So now I'm almost done with 2 summer jobs, and I'm sincerely hoping to get another job with the local adult store. Unfortunately, they hired two trainees who are both younger, and possibly better-looking, than me after basically telling me I was super qualified. No fun, right? Who could possibly be "too fat" for a basic job?

There you go! Now, here's a list of things I'll be delving into soon.

- internal/male toys and their uses
- rape & rape culture
- alternative toys (the "weird" ones)
- body image, love, and respect
- your body and health (scents, tastes, etc)
- rants/raves/hilarity

Be well!
Luka

Websites of the Week Extravaganza!

Hello everyone!

I've been so very busy with AmeriCorps and everything else that I nearly forgot to keep updating my "website of the week" portion of the blog...

Fear not! I've got over a month's worth (not a "moth's worth" like my tiny fingers really wanted me to write) of websites for you to browse and enjoy. Let's get started!






Babeland: With locations in Seattle and New York, Babeland is a female owned and operated adult store with a diverse range of products and an online store. They're also queer friendly and feminist friendly.

According to online reviews, the atmosphere is really comfortable and one might feel like they're free to ask questions without concern. The space is clean and well-lit, their toys are pricey but focus on quality, and most of their staff are very friendly. Some negative reviews included the prices, some
unfriendly staff, and the small selection of products compared to their online catalog. Links to reviews can be found at the bottom of the page.

Sexplanations: Some of you may remember a woman from SciShow who brought in a replica clitoris to explain how it all actually works. Well, she has her own Youtube channel called "Sexplanations". Dr. Lindsey Doe and colleagues have put together a web series to inform others about positive sexuality, anatomy, parenting, and other topics! I love watching it and I think it's amazing.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkxMlA7rt-mnIc1AjbyAsPw

Adam & Eve: Okay, so I'm a little biased about this shop. There's one down the street from my place and I've got friends who work there. All of that aside, I find that this shop is one of the easiest places to get started when it comes to toys. They're located throughout the U.S. and also have an online catalog. 

For most people, shopping in-store works perfectly and there isn't a whole lot of hassle. However, the reviews for their online store is almost entirely negative. Orders not showing up on time, claims about free products that were not true, and atrocious customer service are some of the many thing I've seen while looking up reviews. Though this is problematic and can paint the entire chain of stores as being irresponsible, I don't think it has a lot to do with the people who work in the stores. If you have the choice, I'd recommend visiting one of their many locations rather than purchasing online. You'll likely have a better experience overall and get to play around with the merchandise before buying. 


Oh Joy Sex Toy: Erika Moen created this webcomic series to do reviews on sex toys and go into more educational things. It began in 2011 and grew in popularity since then. Topics that have been covered include toys, pregnancy, sexuality, relationships and more. They also feature guests! 

http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/new-readers/

The Sex Positive Parent: Airial Clark is a sexologist, parenting expert, and writer for the sex positive parent website. She writes a blog about how to discuss sex with your child and how to make them aware of what a positive sexuality is. She offers counseling, coaching, articles, and more. I liked reading her take on Polly Whitaker. 

http://www.thesexpositiveparent.com

Babeland reviews - New York
http://www.yelp.com/biz/babeland-new-york

Babeland reviews - Seattle
http://www.yelp.com/biz/babeland-seattle


Thanks for reading! Please let me know if there's anything you'd like me to cover. I am also available on Facebook, Twitter, and by email.

Introducing "Website of the Week"!

Hello, friends! 

As you know, I don't do reviews of toys by now. I'm...kinda broke...and sex toys are expensive. However, I am pleased to introduce my reviews on websites that involve erotica, toys, and more! I will eventually take requests to review sites that you enjoy or want to know more about. 


Let's get started with a site that I just found called Sonic Erotica

Sonic Erotica is essentially an audio library of erotic short stories, sensual sounds, and interviews with people about their sexual interests. This site seems to have been around since 2010, so they're not very old. Their "About Us" section mentions that they make these erotic audio recordings with the visually impaired in mind. Overall, they seem to have an inclusive environment and are striving to keep it. 

I went on the website and listened to some of their recordings. They're actually pretty good! Their stories are sexy and fun, but not over the top. Thus far, I have noticed that most of their audio involved a female lead or protagonist. Most, if not all, files are downloadable as MP3s, too.

I would like to note that their submission section mentions that there will be no non-consensual sex, bestiality, or sex with aliens (which I can only assume refers to some hentai). Depending on what you plan to write, this site could purchase a license from you to use your work or commission you. Pretty awesome for erotica writers!

Cons: If you want to write or perform for Sonic Erotica, you'd have to relocate to Melbourne, Australia. But they do record over the phone, in some cases. Thus far, not a huge selection of work. 

Interested in some titillating tales? Check 'em out at their website! 
http://sonicerotica.com/