Saturday, November 23, 2013

Luka Thalius and the Discussion of Slut Shaming

A very wise, yet not-so-old man was asked:
"Do you think it matters how many people someone has slept with?"

And that not-so-old man replied:
"No, and it particularly bothers me that women are held to a different standard on this front than men. It's such a weird thing to care about. Like, if I imagined I tried eating Cheerios for breakfast. Would Cheerios be like 'I'm the 48th cereal you've tried eating?! I don't feel special'. Well then, screw you, Cheerios, I can't go into the past and uneat all those cereals, but that doesn't mean I don't genuinely enjoy your wholegrain crunch..."   
-John Green (sorry if you were expecting Dumbledore)
I wholeheartedly agree with that statement, hmm-yes *strokes mustache*

Slut shaming is an automatic reactions for most of us, and it isn't alright to do. Do you want people telling you that the color of your hair is disgusting and you should feel bad about choosing that for yourself? Or having people make fun of a new piercing you got that you were happy about, telling you that you're ugly for having it? No, you don't.

True, that still happens, but less so than slut shaming. People who choose a more adventurous sexual life than others are often ostracized because of the stereotypes that have been placed upon them. They're constantly under harsh criticism, always assumed to be having unprotected and unsafe sex, and that they're a slave to their sexual needs.

To put it plainly, slut shaming is the thought of insulting a woman/girl, and attacking her in some cases, for having multiple sexual partners, expresses her sexuality, and acting on sexual feelings, whether or not she has been sexually active.

Primarily, it is targeted towards women, and it's implying that women indulging in sex that is not "normal", then she's a harlot and should be considered inferior. And yet, men are almost encouraged to do so in our society. They're not held to the same standards as women are. In fact, I rarely ever hear anyone call a man a "slut", unless they're joking. For women, it's implied that they can only have sex if love in involved, but it's natural for men to have sex without love, and with whoever they want to. Messed up, isn't it?

Slut shaming can come in many forms. It can simply be calling someone a "slut", "wench", "hussy", "tramp", "trollop", "whore", etc; to limiting a woman's desire to show off her body, or disapproving of a woman's decision to wear sexy clothing.

Of course, there have been groups that are trying to do away with slut shaming by claiming the title. "Yes, I'm a slut and I'm proud!" is an example of what you might see at a local SlutWalk (a walk to challenge ideas of slut shaming, facebook link below).

All in all, being a sexually active woman is nothing to be ashamed of. You have the right to express your sexual self without having to live up to the "experienced virgin" expectations of society. It's terribly upsetting that women are called sluts just because they want to live a healthy, natural lifestyle (of course I would argue that cheating is another matter entirely, and I do not support cheating).

For more information on slut shaming, as well as many other things, please follow the links below to these sites:

Finally, A Feminist 101 Blog

Huffington Post article: "Teen Girls Take A Stand Against Slut Shaming..."

SlutWalk Facebook Page

I hope this has been of some help to you folks, and I'll talk to you soon!

Friday, November 22, 2013

Workin' Out the Kinks - On Chains, Ropes, & Other Things

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me"

Guurl, I started saying that before Rihanna made it popular!

The worlds of kink and fetish are hard to explain, and often associated with taboos. Why? Well, they're weird to some, they can sometimes look violent, and they scare old ladies. Tell grandma not to go browsing the internet for that cream pie recipe she's been looking for or she'll have a stroke.

I'd say that a majority of society like their sex the same way my sister likes her ice cream: straight-up vanilla. There's nothing wrong with that! But if it's all you're used to, then kink looks scary. Let's shine a light on it, shall we?

Kink is an umbrella term used for any kind of sexual practice that goes beyond what we consider normal or conventional. Some of these are widely known, but there are a good many that are overlooked. They can range from BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism), Threesomes, Orgies, Scat play, or Dominance/Submission. The D/S one is more of a lifestyle, really, but that's something I'll explain in a little while.

Age play - Similar to Infantilism, in which both/all partners refer to each other as mommy/baby, daddy/daughter, etc. This does not include nor imply aspects of incest, rather the use of teacher/student roles.
Anal plugs (small and large) - These nifty devices can be used during sex and even worn publicly, underneath clothing. They can be used for pain training, or simply just for fun.
Animal roles
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)
Aromas - Scent is a very powerful thing. Aromas can be used to sexually/mentally simulate yourself and others.
Asphyxiation (choking/being choked)
Auctioned for charity
Ball stretching
Bathroom use control
Beating (soft)
Beating (hard)
Being serviced (sexual)
Being bitten
Breast/chest bondage
Breath control
Boot worship
Bondage (light)
Bondage (heavy)
Bondage (multi-day)
Bondage (public, under clothing)
Breast whipping
Brown showers (scat)
Cages (locked inside of)
Castration fantasy
Cattle prod (electrical toy)
Cells/Closets (locked inside of)
Chamber-pot use
Chastity belts
Chores (domestic service)
Cock rings/straps
Cock worship
Collars (worn in private)
Collars (worn in public)
Competitions (with other subs)
Corsets (wearing casually)
Corsets (trained waist reduction)
Cuffs (leather)
Cuffs (metal)
Diapers (wearing)
Diapers (wetting)
Diapers (soiling)
Double penetration
Enemas (for cleansing)
Enemas (retention/punishment)
Enforced chastity
Erotic dance (for audience)
Examinations (physical)
Exercise (forced/required)
Exhibitionism (friends)
Exhibitionism (strangers)
Eye contact restrictions
Face slapping
Fantasy abandonment
Fantasy rape
Fantasy gang-rape
Fear (being scared)
Fisting (anal & vaginal)
Flame play
Following orders
Food play (cucumbers, sorbet...)
Foot worship, bedwetting, dressing, eating, homo/heterosexuality, masturbation, nudity in private/public, servitude, smoking)
Full head hoods
Gags (cloth, inflatable, phallic, rubber, tape)
Gas mask
Gates of Hell (male chastity device)
Genital sex
Given away to another Dom (permanent or temporary)
Golden showers
Gun play
Hairbrush spankings
Hair pulling 
Hand jobs (giving/receiving)
Harems (serving w/other subs)
Harnessing (leather, rope)
Having food/clothing chosen for you
Head (give or receive fellatio/cunnilingus)
High heels
Homage with tongue (non-sexual)
Hot oils (on genitals)
Hot waxing
Housework (doing)
Human puppy dog
Humiliation (private/public)

Ice cubes
Initiation rites
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage
Knife play
Leather clothing
Leather restraints
Lectures for misbehavior
Licking (non-sexual)
Lingerie (wearing)
Manacles & irons
Manicures (giving)
Massage (giving)
Massage (receiving)
Medical scenes
Modeling for erotic photos
Mouth bits
Name change (for scene)
Name change (legal, permanant)
Nipple clamps
Nipple rings (piercings)
Nipple play/"torture"
Nipple weights
Oral/anal play (rimming)
Over-the-knee spanking
Orgasm denial
Orgasm control
Outdoor scenes
Outdoor sex
Pain (mild)
Pain (medium)
Pain (severe)
Persona training (in scene)
Personality modification (RL)
Phone sex (serving Dom)
Phone sex (serving Dom's friends)
Phone sex (commercial provider)
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce)
Piercing (permanent)
Plastic surgery
Prison scenes
Prostitution (public pretense)
Prostitution (actual)
Pony slave
Public exposure
Punishment Scene
Pussy/cock whipping
Pussy worship
Riding crops
Riding the "horse" (crotch tort.)
Religious scenes
Restrictive rules on behavior
Rubber/latex clothing
Rope body harness
Saran wrapping
Scratching - getting
Scratching - giving
Sensory deprivation
Serving (as ashtray, furniture, maid, for other doms with or without supervision)
Sexual deprivation (short term)
Sleep deprivation
Slutty clothing (private)
Speech restrictions (when, what)
Spreader bars
Straight jackets
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)
Strapping (full body beating)
Suspension (upright, inverted, horizontal)
Supplying new partners for Dom
Swallowing urine
Swapping (with one other couple)
Thumbcuffs (metal)
Triple penetration
Vaginal dildo
Voyeurism (watching others)
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)
Video (watching others)
Video (recordings of you)
Water torture
Weight loss (forced)

I know, there's a lot going on. But if you have any questions, please feel free to ask! I'm more than willing to do the research needed to provide you with answers about these topics. 

Did I miss something in this list? Send me a message or comment and I'll be sure to add it in for you! :)

If you want to add me on Fetlife, send me a message and we'll chat about it!