My place, 9:00, bring the consent

Quick announcement!
As a gamer, I enjoy watching reviews, let's play videos, and other cool stuff to do with games. My partner and his dad did a review on "Warhammer Diskwars", a table top game with wooden disks instead of miniatures and based off of the Warhammer Fantasy game. On comment on the video was that my partner looked like Kevin Smith because of his beard. I am pleased to know I'm dating Kevin Smith. :) You may now continue to your regularly schedule sex blog.

Consent is asking the other person/people involved if they're willing to engage in these activities, and also asking about their comfort levels, emotionally and physically. If something is too painful, or if they want to take it a little faster, slower, harder, etc, it's good to make time to check in with them. Should the person decide that they no longer want to continue, that's up to them and you. Sometimes, certain aspects of sex can trigger strong emotions in different folks. This is a good thing to discuss before sex. 

Also, keep in mind that men can be raped, too. Despite stereotypical limits, it's almost impossible to think that men can be raped because they "always want sex". This isn't true, men can be raped. I know 2 men who have been raped. Sometimes this happens in childhood, during their first relationship, or even later in life. It's not as common as women being raped, and it's still an unfortunate circumstance for both genders. It still needs to be brought to attention.

Rape can be sexual intercourse with any part of the body that can be penetrated. Yes, it can even be in the ears, if it's non-consensual. Assault is the act of touching/fondling/unwanted contact that can lead to rape. 

Obviously, it's important to ask for consent during sex. It could be your first time or your 50th time, it's always good to ask. There's always the stereotype of one partner wanting sex and the other not in the mood. In most situations on television, it's the man hinting that he wants sex, the woman denying him. Notice that there's never any asking, just hinting. But that's isn't the case all of the time. My partner and I often use consent, just in case one of us is unsure about it. Sure, it will feel weird for one of us, but it's better than regretting it later. It can still be counted as rape, in some cases, even if you're married to the person involved. Engaging in sexual activities without consent from the other person/people involved can technically be assault or rape. How would you feel if someone was forcing themselves upon you when you didn't want them? Don't do it to someone else. 

If the other partner(s) involved are unable to give consent (drunk, high, knocked-out, etc), do not engage in sexual activities! They're not able to give consent if they're barely able to stand upright and they're puking in the flower pot. 

The person involved may make physical contact with you, but it doesn't mean they're ready for sex. If it's unclear if they want to have sex, reassure them that it's their choice or talk about how you both/all would feel about it. I might rub my hands on your inner thigh when I'm wasted, but that's just the alcohol. Sure, you might have thought about sex all night, but if I say I'm not interested, then it's time to back off. Just please help me to the bathroom, I might be sick...

Also, your partner(s) might be into one type of sex, but not the other. For example, they might have been interested in oral sex for that night, but weren't ready for anal/vaginal. It's better to let them choose what they're comfortable with, and for you to choose as well. Remember, check in with them! Don't take silence as a "yes". There should not be any obligation to finish whatever has been started, or pressure to engage in the first place. 

Just as a head's up, the most common age of sexual consent is 16, but sometimes it can be 18. Check your local laws on ages of sexual consent. In some cases, such as places in Mexico, the age of consent can be as young as 12.


I want to say thanks to www.scarleteen.com for some help, as well as www.pamf.org. All the images here were found via Google Images. 

PLEASE FOLLOW MY BLOG! I usually don't ask this because I can at least see how many views I've gotten, but I would love to have some followers! You'll be immediately updated on any new posts, and I can personally answer any questions.





 
 

Holiday Hiatus

Hey everyone! Just letting you know that I'll be back soon. I've got a lot of projects that are late Yulemas presents.

I hope you all have a great rest of the year, and I'll see you soon!

Remember, wrap yo' junk!

<3 Luka

Luka Thalius and the Birth Control Conundrum pt. 1

I've talked about using condoms on this blog before, but they're not the only type of birth control/pregnancy prevention on the planet.

They're not?

That's right! In fact, there are about several different types of birth control out there. Let's take a look at them.

Abstinence
Ah, the dreaded abstinence!  The thought that one can actually decide to not have sex. Such an idea is ludicrous! But it does happen. Abstinence is the choice to refrain from having sex. Sometimes, religions require that you remain abstinent until marriage, so that might not be your choice. In some forms of abstinence, kissing and some light touching is fine as long as it doesn't lead to any intercourse.

I can not choose abstinence. I applaud those who can do it, but I honestly can't go more than a week or so.

With this in mind, abstinence is 100% effective against preventing pregnancy because there are no spermies getting to any eggs, and there's no penetration involved. There's also little to no chance of acquiring an STD or STI (Sexually Transmitted Disease/Infection).

You don't have to be a virgin to be abstinent. You can have sex, then decide it's not for you. It doesn't make you a prude, it means you're in charge of your sexual lifestyle. Embrace it!

Da Pill
I was on birth control pills for awhile, the Tri-Sprintec brand. They're pretty effective, when you remember to take them. That's one of few down sides to taking the pill: you have to schedule it. I forgot sooo much.

Yes, yes, but how do they work?

Birth control pills work by controlling ovulation (periods), and creating vaginal mucus. By doing these two things, it would be difficult for sperm to get through and enter the eggs. If there aren't any eggs there, there's nothing for it to latch onto. Likewise, the vaginal mucus becomes thick enough to stop any sperm from getting through, but not enough to gross out your partner. Specifically, the pills stops the pituitary gland from producing Follicle Stimulating Hormones (FSH) and Luteinizing Hormones, which stop the process of dropping mature eggs.
Fuck yeah, science!

There are 3 kinds of combination pills - with estrogen, without estrogen, and extended-cycle.
Estrogen and Progestin are both female sex hormones.

With estrogen and progestin: The pill gives you a normal dose of estrogen and progestin, allowing your menstrual cycle to remain fairly regular, or even relieve heavy bleeding and bloating. 

Without estrogen (the minipill): This progestin-only pill doesn't change your menstrual cycle, it only thickens vaginal/cervical mucus and thins uterine linings (or endometrium, if you want to get science-y). This is a good pill for people dealing with diabetes, heart disease, blood clots, or are smokers. And if you've already had a child and are currently breastfeeding, they will not reduce the amount of milk you create.

Extended Cycle: This pill still prevents pregnancy when taken daily, but it also allows you to have your period once every 3 months.

Most birth control packs come with about 21-28 pills, they're approximately $15-$150, and some insurance companies cover them. Well, mine did, but I'm in Massachusetts.

Please remember to continue using condoms if you're taking the pill. Missed pills can be nerve-wracking, and you shouldn't just take the pill you missed with the pill you have to take at the same time. Try to use alternative methods to stay safe, just in case.

We still have a lot to look at. What are you waiting for? GERONIMO!




Da Patch:
The patch is like a pregnancy prevention band-aid, and it looks like one!

You place it on your skin for one week after your period begins, and it allows the body to soak up estrogen and progestin. Only one patch can be worn at a time. While on the patch, you may experience breast tenderness, missed periods, or spotting (light periods).

This is a good option for those who lead a busy life and can't be bothered with taking pills or shots. It's safe and convenient, and usually costs about $15-$80 a month.

For more info on the patch, go visit www.orthoevra.com

Implants:

Implants such as Implanon or Nexplanon are thin and flexible plastic pieces which are inserted into your upper arm, right under the skin *shudders* and releases progestin.

It prevents pregnancy for up to 3 years, however if you’re taking certain kinds of medication (for Tuberculosis, HIV, mental disorders, anti-seizures, and some herbal supplements), it will make the implant work less effectively. They’re about $400-$800.

While they’re good for women who are often busy, they can make your periods lighter or heavier in some cases, and are not recommended for women with breast cancer.

Diaphragm:

According to the Bedsider.org’s article on diaphragms:

“It looks like Meg Griffin’s hat on The Family Guy”

To which I laughed hysterically.

A diaphragm (which is the hardest word for me to bloody type!) is a shallow cup made of silicon that is inserted into the vagina with spermicide. It’s intended to cover the cervix, blocking any wandering spermies from the uterus. It must have spermicide to work properly.

This must be done by yourself, or someone you’re comfortable enough with (like your doctor, or partner) putting their hands up in yo’ bizz. It’s sort of like using a tampon, so it’s easy enough to manage without getting things lost or worrying about how far to put it in. It’s really the amount of comfort you have with your body.

Don’t use it if you have silicone or spermicide allergies, and don’t put it in there when you’re on your period, or else it really will look like Meg Griffin’s hat.

Some of the positive things said about the diaphragm are that both partners shouldn’t feel it during sex, it can be placed hours in advance, there may be brobdignagian amounts of sex with it in, it doesn’t affect hormones, and there’s little risk of pelvic inflammatory disease.

Some negative things said about it are that it can be knocked out of place by large penises/phallic objects or some sex positions, it can cause some vaginal irritation, frequent UTI’s, and difficult insertion.

NuvaRing - aka The Ring (no, not that horror movie with the girl and the television)
The ring is a 2” flexible ring that you insert into your vagina once a month to prevent pregnancy.

It's pretty easy to get with a prescription, and in some cases you might be able to get one through your community health center. It will cost anywhere from $15-$80.

As with most other forms of birth control, it will not prevent HIV/AIDS. 

In order to use this pretty ring effectively, you have to insert it into your vagina and up against the cervix. DO NOT go any farther than the cervix, as it will not work and will probably hurt. And if you can push it up that far, may I say...DAYUM!

Pros: Easy and relatively affordable birth control, DIY aspect, might need a little bit of lube, but no surgery or doctor's visit.

Cons: May cause blood clots, strokes, heart attacks, high blood pressure, heart disease, ovarian cancer, gallbladder disease, liver tumors. Please don't smoke, breastfeed, or use drugs on the NuvaRing

There's a link below with more information. If you like it, then you should put a ring on it (it meaning your vajay?).

http://www.nuvaring.com/Consumer/index.asp

IUD (IntraUterine Device)
I'll be honest, I'm a bit biased. I love the IUD's! I have the Mirena version, and it's worked perfectly for me for the past 1-2 years that I've had it. What's great is that you can have unprotected sex without worrying so much about getting pregnant that you start acting like a hyena on crack. 

There are a few kinds here, but many more online -

Mirena* lasts up to 5 years (hormonal), thickens cervical mucus. Uses the mix of estrogen and progestin.

Skyla* lasts for up to 3 years, hormonal.

ParaGuard lasts up to 10 years (copper), doesn't change hormones at all.  

*Hormonal IUDs might reduce cramps and menstrual flow after some time, and can be used during breastfeeding. 
 

The way these nifty doodads work are that they block sperm from getting to the eggs. They're T shaped, and they push up against your uterus to keep spermies from tally-hoeing towards your ovaries.

They're inserted via a doctor within one visit, and you definitely will experience some pain, spotting, and cramps. Rarely, women will develop infections, but most complications can be treated. In severely rare cases, the IUD will slip out of the vagina. But should all go well, your cramps and pains will go away after a day, and you may start jumping into some pants (I don't advise literally doing this)! I would highly consider wearing a condom during sex, even if you have the IUD, and always check the "strings" a few days afterwards to be sure it's in place.

You may find that your sex life will improve and become more spontaneous because you don't have to be so concerned. Should you decide that babies are a sure thing in your future, you can have it taken out and start becoming pregnant right away. 

Sterilization (surgical & non-surgical)

 I'll be completely honest, I don't much like this method. It scares me a lot because it means scarring your body in such a way that you won't be able to have babies. I don't know, it just freaks me out. 

Anyway, this method is meant to be permanent, safe, and effective. There are several ways of doing this:

- Cutting the fallopian tubes

- Placing a small insert that causes scar tissue

- Tying the tubes

- Closing them with an electrical clamp

- Cutting and cauterizing 

- Placing a ring out it

As one might imagine, this is an expensive surgery that will result in discomfort afterwards lasting from 1-3 days. It's meant to block sperm from getting through the fallopian tubes altogether. 

Most surgeries can be done safely, but there are risks. It's completely possible that the tubes can reconnect. It also may cause ectopic pregnancies (pregnancy that develops outside of the uterus, fatal for the mother).

It lasts for life and doesn't effect hormones. It also doesn't cause symptoms of menopause, and you'll still have periods. This is an option one might want to consider if they don't want to have biological children, or feel that their children might be threatened or their health might be in danger (i.e. the parent has AIDS, might pass it along to the child, potential birth defects, etc).

Depo Shot

The Depo Shot is an injection that one gets within the first week of their period that lasts for up to 3 months. It's really easy to get (likely within 1-2 doctors visits. Which reminds me, I need to schedule mine...) It's about $35-$100 to get, potentially more for exam fees. Sometimes one's periods become lighter, heavier, or there's a change in sex drive.

It lasts for up to 3 months. It's just a shot of progestin that increases the cervical mucus. It works for as long as you continue getting it.

$35-$100 for injection, potentially more for exam fees. Otherwise, not so bad. 

FemCap

The FemCap is a non-allergenic cervical cap that's inserted with lubricant, much like the aforementioned diaphragm in part 1. It's reusable for one year, and is usually pretty comfortable. Ideally, it doesn't interfere with sex and can be a DIY project (kind of). Once inserted, it covers the cervix and stops any spermies from completing their achievement and gaining experience points in your uterus.
Since there's no surgery involved, one can easily get pregnant after it's removed. It can be acquired through your local family planning center (if you have one. I'm pretty pissed at those states without them and with "rape insurance", as if women are cars or something. Fucking idiots.), or the hospital. It's also made in the US, for those of you more patriotic readers!

I'm honestly not sure of the price, that's something that might have to be homework for you to do on your own. :)

Today Sponge

 Oh my gods, you guys. When I looked at this, I couldn't figure out what to think of it. It's funny, but useful, but weird...all of that.

Ahem, let me get back to the more professional atmosphere.

The Today Sponge is a sponge that has spermicide in it. After running it under water, insert it into the vagina against the cervix. It blocks sperm from getting through, and traps them in the sponge, instantly killing them. It only lasts for 24 hours and can't really be felt by either partner.

Oh, and it's held in place naturally by the vaginal muscles.

It's disposable, can be carried discreetly, and one can use it in the tub (just no water sex, okay? It will lessen the amount of spermicide in the sponge). 

Please don't use a tampon at the same time as the sponge. I don't even want to know what would happen there, as it shouldn't be worn during your period. 

It goes for $12-$18, and you can get them in packs of 3. 

Thanks so much for reading! All these pictures were found on Google Images. Check out the websites below for more cool information.

www.bedsider.org
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control-4211.htm

See you soon!

Luka Thalius and the Discussion of Slut Shaming

A very wise, yet not-so-old man was asked:

"Do you think it matters how many people someone has slept with?"

And that not-so-old man replied:

"No, and it particularly bothers me that women are held to a different standard on this front than men. It's such a weird thing to care about. Like, if I imagined I tried eating Cheerios for breakfast. Would Cheerios be like 'I'm the 48th cereal you've tried eating?! I don't feel special'. Well then, screw you, Cheerios, I can't go into the past and uneat all those cereals, but that doesn't mean I don't genuinely enjoy your wholegrain crunch..."   

-John Green (sorry if you were expecting Dumbledore)

I wholeheartedly agree with that statement, hmm-yes *strokes mustache*

Slut shaming is an automatic reactions for most of us, and it isn't alright to do. Do you want people telling you that the color of your hair is disgusting and you should feel bad about choosing that for yourself? Or having people make fun of a new piercing you got that you were happy about, telling you that you're ugly for having it? No, you don't.

True, that still happens, but less so than slut shaming. People who choose a more adventurous sexual life than others are often ostracized because of the stereotypes that have been placed upon them. They're constantly under harsh criticism, always assumed to be having unprotected and unsafe sex, and that they're a slave to their sexual needs.

To put it plainly, slut shaming is the thought of insulting a woman/girl, and attacking her in some cases, for having multiple sexual partners, expresses her sexuality, and acting on sexual feelings, whether or not she has been sexually active.

Primarily, it is targeted towards women, and it's implying that women indulging in sex that is not "normal", then she's a harlot and should be considered inferior. And yet, men are almost encouraged to do so in our society. They're not held to the same standards as women are. In fact, I rarely ever hear anyone call a man a "slut", unless they're joking. For women, it's implied that they can only have sex if love in involved, but it's natural for men to have sex without love, and with whoever they want to. Messed up, isn't it?

Slut shaming can come in many forms. It can simply be calling someone a "slut", "wench", "hussy", "tramp", "trollop", "whore", etc; to limiting a woman's desire to show off her body, or disapproving of a woman's decision to wear sexy clothing.

Of course, there have been groups that are trying to do away with slut shaming by claiming the title. "Yes, I'm a slut and I'm proud!" is an example of what you might see at a local SlutWalk (a walk to challenge ideas of slut shaming, facebook link below).

All in all, being a sexually active woman is nothing to be ashamed of. You have the right to express your sexual self without having to live up to the "experienced virgin" expectations of society. It's terribly upsetting that women are called sluts just because they want to live a healthy, natural lifestyle (of course I would argue that cheating is another matter entirely, and I do not support cheating).

For more information on slut shaming, as well as many other things, please follow the links below to these sites:

Finally, A Feminist 101 Blog
http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2010/04/04/what-is-slut-shaming/

Huffington Post article: "Teen Girls Take A Stand Against Slut Shaming..."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/30/slut-shaming-teen-girls_n_4178812.html


SlutWalk Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/SlutWalk



I hope this has been of some help to you folks, and I'll talk to you soon!

Workin' Out the Kinks - On Chains, Ropes, & Other Things

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me"

Guurl, I started saying that before Rihanna made it popular!

The worlds of kink and fetish are hard to explain, and often associated with taboos. Why? Well, they're weird to some, they can sometimes look violent, and they scare old ladies. Tell grandma not to go browsing the internet for that cream pie recipe she's been looking for or she'll have a stroke.

I'd say that a majority of society like their sex the same way my sister likes her ice cream: straight-up vanilla. There's nothing wrong with that! But if it's all you're used to, then kink looks scary. Let's shine a light on it, shall we?

Kink is an umbrella term used for any kind of sexual practice that goes beyond what we consider normal or conventional. Some of these are widely known, but there are a good many that are overlooked. They can range from BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism), Threesomes, Orgies, Scat play, or Dominance/Submission. The D/S one is more of a lifestyle, really, but that's something I'll explain in a little while.

 Abrasion
Age play - Similar to Infantilism, in which both/all partners refer to each other as mommy/baby, daddy/daughter, etc. This does not include nor imply aspects of incest, rather the use of teacher/student roles.
Anal plugs (small and large) - These nifty devices can be used during sex and even worn publicly, underneath clothing. They can be used for pain training, or simply just for fun.
Animal roles
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)
Aromas - Scent is a very powerful thing. Aromas can be used to sexually/mentally simulate yourself and others.
Asphyxiation (choking/being choked)
Auctioned for charity
Ball stretching
Bathroom use control
Bestiality
Beating (soft)
Beating (hard)
Blindfolds
Being serviced (sexual)
Being bitten
Breast/chest bondage
Breath control
Branding
Boot worship
Bondage (light)
Bondage (heavy)
Bondage (multi-day)
Bondage (public, under clothing)
Breast whipping
Brown showers (scat)
Cages (locked inside of)
Caning
Castration fantasy
Catheterization
Cattle prod (electrical toy)
Cells/Closets (locked inside of)
Chains
Chamber-pot use
Chastity belts
Chauffeuring
Choking
Chores (domestic service)
Clothespins
Cock rings/straps
Cock worship
Collars (worn in private)
Collars (worn in public)
Competitions (with other subs)
Corsets (wearing casually)
Corsets (trained waist reduction)
Cross-dressing
Cuffs (leather)
Cuffs (metal)
Cutting
Diapers (wearing)
Diapers (wetting)
Diapers (soiling)
Dilation
Dildoes
Double penetration
Electricity
Enemas (for cleansing)
Enemas (retention/punishment)
Enforced chastity
Erotic dance (for audience)
Examinations (physical)
Exercise (forced/required)
Exhibitionism (friends)
Exhibitionism (strangers)
Eye contact restrictions
Face slapping
Fantasy abandonment
Fantasy rape
Fantasy gang-rape
Fear (being scared)
Fisting (anal & vaginal)
Flame play
Following orders
Food play (cucumbers, sorbet...)
Foot worship, bedwetting, dressing, eating, homo/heterosexuality, masturbation, nudity in private/public, servitude, smoking)
Full head hoods
Gags (cloth, inflatable, phallic, rubber, tape)
Gas mask
Gates of Hell (male chastity device)
Genital sex
Given away to another Dom (permanent or temporary)
Golden showers
Gun play
Hairbrush spankings
Hair pulling 
Hand jobs (giving/receiving)
Harems (serving w/other subs)
Harnessing (leather, rope)
Having food/clothing chosen for you
Head (give or receive fellatio/cunnilingus)
High heels
Homage with tongue (non-sexual)
Hoods
Hot oils (on genitals)
Hot waxing
Housework (doing)
Human puppy dog
Humiliation (private/public)
Hypnotism
Ice cubes
Immobilization
Infantilism
Initiation rites
Injections
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage
Interrogations
Kidnapping
Kneeling
Knife play
Leather clothing
Leather restraints
Lectures for misbehavior
Licking (non-sexual)
Lingerie (wearing)
Manacles & irons
Manicures (giving)
Massage (giving)
Massage (receiving)
Medical scenes
Modeling for erotic photos
Mouth bits
Mummification
Name change (for scene)
Name change (legal, permanant)
Nipple clamps
Nipple rings (piercings)
Nipple play/"torture"
Nipple weights
Oral/anal play (rimming)
Over-the-knee spanking
Orgasm denial
Orgasm control
Outdoor scenes
Outdoor sex
Pain (mild)
Pain (medium)
Pain (severe)
Persona training (in scene)
Personality modification (RL)
Phone sex (serving Dom)
Phone sex (serving Dom's friends)
Phone sex (commercial provider)
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce)
Piercing (permanent)
Plastic surgery
Prison scenes
Prostitution (public pretense)
Prostitution (actual)
Pony slave
Public exposure
Punishment Scene
Pussy/cock whipping
Pussy worship
Riding crops
Riding the "horse" (crotch tort.)
Rituals
Religious scenes
Restrictive rules on behavior
Rubber/latex clothing
Rope body harness
Saran wrapping
Scarification
Scratching - getting
Scratching - giving
Sensory deprivation
Serving (as ashtray, furniture, maid, for other doms with or without supervision)
Sexual deprivation (short term)
Sleep deprivation
Sleepsacks
Slutty clothing (private)
Spanking
Speech restrictions (when, what)
Spreader bars
Stocks
Straight jackets
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)
Strapping (full body beating)
Suspension (upright, inverted, horizontal)
Supplying new partners for Dom
Swallowing urine
Swapping (with one other couple)
Thumbcuffs (metal)
Triple penetration
Vaginal dildo
Voyeurism (watching others)
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)
Video (watching others)
Video (recordings of you)
Water torture
Weight loss (forced)
Wrestling 

I know, there's a lot going on. But if you have any questions, please feel free to ask! I'm more than willing to do the research needed to provide you with answers about these topics. 

Did I miss something in this list? Send me a message or comment and I'll be sure to add it in for you! :)

If you want to add me on Fetlife, send me a message and we'll chat about it!

How Do I Sex? - What Sex Means for Different People

This probably should have been the first post, but that wouldn't have drawn any attention. You know, just like when you're in trouble, you yell "boobs!" instead of "fire!" because that's likely to cause people to look in your direction. Well, that's what I was taught in driving school.

If you asked most people what sex means to them, they might say answer about sexual intercourse, and how they feel about it. This is true for me, as well. However, during my time in many trainings and conventions, I've learned that there are bunches of ideas out there of what sex is!

For example, I asked some of my friends what it meant to them, and one of them said that sex isn't only about physical contact. It can be emotional and spiritual, too. They could easily have sex by simply meditating with someone because there is strong sexual energy there. They also mentioned that it's very personal, not just something that happens.

Something else I read about was called "Astral Sex", which is basically out-of-body sex with different energies involved. I don't know much about it, and I've never had an out-of-body experience, so I'm a little skeptical, however I encourage you to look it up. This sounds similar to "thinking off"; using your brain and imagination (not physical contact) to sexually arouse yourself and have a climax of sexual energy, and even having an orgasm without ejaculating. If you want to learn more, I recommend watching "Strange Sex" on TLC or online.

Tantric sex involves meditation, breathing, and light touching. You could have sex with your partner from across the room by using each others energies, using some meditation, and deep breathing. Sounds kind of fun to me!





There are times when you just can't have sex (postpartum, pregnancy, injuries, emotional roadblocks, etc.), but you still want to have sex. It doesn't make seem to make sense, but there are ways for you to enjoy the sexual energies without there being any penetration. You can masturbate together, have oral sex, watch porn or just a sexy movie together, make out and let your mouth wander around, or even write erotica for each other.

I plan on looking for more to add to this because I find this topic very interesting. If you want to add what sex means to you, please send me a message or post a comment! I'd be more than happy to incorporate it into an update.

How Do I Put This In?! - Internal Condom Advice

Internal/Female condoms. Probably the most overlooked of all birth controls. It's a little too big to fit in a wallet or pocket discreetly, but it's still a good option if you're in the mood and have nothing else. If it's this or an empty Cheetos bag, please, PLEASE go with this.

Why say "internal" instead of "female" condom? They're not only used by females and for females. These can be used for anal sex, as well. It's always nice to include everyone.

Internal condoms look very different from external ones. To me, they kind of look like a sock without the toe portions. To those of you who may have an allergy to latex, no worries! These are 100% polyurethane.

See what I mean?

The way these condoms work is that they go inside the vagina or anus. They can be inserted 8 hours before sexual activities happen, and you can still use the restroom while wearing them. Sounds messy, but it works! The ring helps push the condom into the vagina or anus, and can be removed, and even used as a cock ring! The top part of the condom (where the penis/other object will be inserted) folds over the outside of the vagina/anus for easy access when it needs to be removed later. This is especially helpful with the anus. As a sex toy expert once said in a workshop I attended "Your anus likes to take things and never give them back" So take my advice, keep the folds on the outside. You don't want to go diggin' around...

That's what it looks like when it goes into a vagina. It's basically the same with an anus, but you'll want to use a lot of lube for it.

Instructions!

Step 1: Check the expiration date! This will be found on the side between the folds, and will be the second set of numbers.

Step 2: Push the condom to the side of the package and open by tearing where the arrow is. Please refrain from using scissors or teeth.

Step 3: Open it up. It probably looks a little complicated, huh? No worries, keep reading.

Step 4: The ring inside is made of a soft and flexible plastic. Pinch the ring lengthwise with the condom like you would hold a pencil, and push it into the vagina to the cervix. Ideally, you'll feel the ring settle in place near your cervix. If you don't, then it may not be in right and you may consider trying again. The anus will be different, and the ring does not need to be used, but can be for insertion.

Step 5: Allow the top of the condom to hang outside of the vagina/anus not only for easy access, as I mentioned before, but also to prevent skin-to-skin transmission of any diseases such as genital warts, herpes, and HPV (Human Papillomavirus).

Step 6: Be sure that during your sexual activities that the penis/toy/object goes into the condom and not to the side. This can happen sometimes, even if it seems like it's a pretty easy target to hit. Not as easy if it's dark, you're drunk, or you're in a rush.

Okay, now that I've given you this info, get to it!

All set? Cool! I hope you had fun. Now let's talk about getting that condom out. It's a little method called the "Twist and Pull" Simple, easy to remember. It's kind of like that Beatles song "Twist and Shout", but hopefully there will be no shouting. If you remember this method to that tune, you should be all set. 

First, twist the condom to trap and fluids that have gathered.

Second, pull it out of the vagina/anus.

Lastly, throw it away in the trash, not the toilet! You want to dispose of the evidence, not allow it to back up the whole system. 

If for any reason you're doing yo' thang in a car or other fun places (I don't judge! You've gotta get creative sometimes. Not all relationships are the same or are as accommodating when it comes to sex), please be kind and wrap up the condom in a napkin or something like that. You can throw it away later, and you won't be littering. You also have a small chance of it getting stuck to the side of the car. Nothing says "we're open with our sex life" than a sticky, plastic sock-like package flapping in the wind as you drive down the road, your embarrassing new car decal frightening the elderly, pissing off your folks, and startling fellow shoppers should you decide to pick up groceries afterwards. Keep that one in your head, you'll need it :)




Thank you very much for reading, please feel free to ask question and leave comments. If there's anything you want to see, let me know and I'll put it on my list.